Negotiating the Big O
If sex wins a man’s heart, an orgasm wins a woman’s soul. Scholars in the field of sexology continue to search for and find ways to achieve the Big O (orgasm). Most adult women have either never experienced the Big O or they experience it far less than their male partners. An unequal distribution of satisfaction exists between men and women at the most basic level of human relationships. A number of studies conducted suggest that there are both biological and psychological benefits to realizing the Big O. In many cultures, topics concerning sex and sexuality, especially involving women, are considered taboo. Even in marriage women often refrain from expressing their sexual needs, remaining instead, the silent partners. This often leads to frustration, lack of intimacy, and infidelity. In a world where women demand equality with their male partners, it is imperative that such equality begin at the foundation of the male-female sexual relationship and the Big O.
This paper seeks to explore the gender-based taboo of the Big O as well as the negotiation processes and techniques that may be used to encourage equality in the demand and satisfaction of the Big O. This study also examines global practices such as female genital mutilation (FGM), unequally biased sex education, and the nature of gender inequality. Such traditions and norms exacerbate the problem for many women who dare to speak of their sexuality. Until men and women view each other as equal partners, the problem of gender equality will not be resolved. The most critical foundation of that equality lies in the demand for and achievement of the Big O.
Keywords: Orgasm, Sexual Taboos, Gender Relations, Partnership
Graduate Student, Graduate School of Humanities and Social Sciences, Nova Southeastern University